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Love Is Not How You Feel


Hey Fruitful Family!!! Let's walk into October empowered with the truth that will allow our marriages to stand against anything! I have written about this before but I feel a need to address it again. I believe that knowledge is power and I would like to empower my fellow newly weds who are walking this road called marriage. Marriage isn't a road that is smooth and straight. It can be bumpy with many twists and turns and sometimes very steep but I believe that the Word of GOD has given us hidden gems that can guide us down this road to a place called success but in order to get to this place called success we have to realize that the world or "secular culture" has fed us and is still trying to feed us deep fried lies on a stick and because some of us have bought into the world's way of doing things we are failing when it comes to the intimate and most important areas of our life.

 There is this preconceived notion that love is a feeling, an emotion that we have no control over and is subject to change. We have grown up hearing stories about Cupid and his arrows and "falling" in love with someone. I personally do not believe these things are true, in fact I don't believe love is something out of our control. I believe those things we initially feel are produced by chemistry and infatuation which feels a lot like love. The difference is love will last through for better or for worst, infatuation crumbles to the test of time. I believe love is a choice and when we go about believing love is a choice and not a spell cast over us then we walk in a power that enables us to fight and press through our marriage in the most difficult of times. 

 My husband and I have experienced some hardships in this brief time of marriage and if I would have gone through those times believing love was a feeling, then based on my feelings I would have said we fell out of love within our first year of marriage! I thank GOD that My husband and I have wise mentors happily married over 30 years and happy to teach us the truth. Love is a choice and love is an action word. Love is the decision to support and care for another regardless of their actions, your feelings or surrounding circumstances. Its a hard pill to swallow but feelings are weak, misleading, and unreliable and if any couple plans on creating a long, happy marriage then emotions should not be the driving factor of a relationship. Love can trigger emotion but love is not emotion. 

I truly do believe that's why so many marriages in America fail, because we have been deceived to believe this great misconception. If love was merely a feeling and out of our control why would GOD command us to love one another as we love ourselves? Would GOD be so cruel as to command us to do something that was out of our hands? Of course not! Just as GOD has made the choice to love us regardless of our sin and shortcomings, he has also enabled us to do the same. Perhaps it would be wise to love our spouses the way GOD love us and even give them the same amount of chances we want GOD to give us.

  Let's begin to switch our thinking from "loving you is something I can't help" to "love is an action that I choose to do." We can first start doing that by not allowing our emotions to dictate the things that come out of our mouth. If I allowed myself to say exactly how I felt during a disagreement, I would be divorced and that is the truth LOL. I have thought some cruel and heartless things about my husband and my tongue can be very sharp but because emotions are not the driving factor of my relationship I choose to respect and honor my husband regardless of how I feel. The bible says it is a fool who says anything on their mind and I definitely am no fool. Doing those romantic things that you know your spouse loves even though you may be tired and don't feel like it also will bless your marriage. The bible says do not grow weary in well doing for in due season you will reap a harvest if you faint not! Newly Weds don't faint on your marriage.

 A wise woman builds her home, and a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands and I am in the process of building a mansion with its own guest house and an Olympic size infinity pool LMBO!!! I am saying all this to say in order to have a marriage lasting til death do us part we need to arm ourselves with the truth which is the Word of GOD. Do not allow society to dictate how your marriage plays out but build your marriage on a foundation that will stand during the test of time. Choose to love your spouse regardless of how you feel, put Christ in the center of your marriage and watch GOD take care of the rest. Until next time, take care.

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